First Love

Do you remember the first person you ever ‘loved’ or had a thing for (that you probably always will have a thing for)?
Whether it is your first boyfriend/girlfriend in grade school, to your first boyfriend/girlfriend/lover from university and onwards. That one person whom when you think back to when feeling nostalgic, accompanied with a smile or sinking feeling in your stomach. These kinds of feelings are Springsteen lyric-worthy, and like all good Springsteen songs, the overall theme you gain from his lyrics is that point in your life where you are able to look back and reminisce back to that one person (or five) that made or broke you. Those people who truly meant something to you*.
Throughout history, there have been two stark contrasts in the ways of which romance have influenced great works of art and literary pieces. These are the beginning and end of love. As the Danish would say, ‘Forelsket’, which is the feeling of first falling in love. On the other hand, you have the end of love. It has been said that many great works of art have been shaped and refined about this topic alone. It seems that universally the theme of losing love is prominent. The work by many great artists and philosophers has been known to thrive under painful circumstances.
The end of a relationship is essentially a loss. Thus meaning that usually there are stages of grief associated with returning to a singular status. Overall there are five stages to grief which provide a loose outline to the feelings that often follow a loss of any kind. These stages are – listed in no particular order: shock, denial, anger, depression, bargaining and acceptance. What I find most interesting about these stages is the idealisms of acceptance.
There could be a common belief that acceptance is only reached as the final stage of the grieving process and is a marker to recovery. That is a valid point, but there could also be truth in saying that there are certain aspects of acceptance that are seen through the early recognition and acknowledgement that from the beginning of a romance, there are chances that it will not work out.
But the mere presence of acceptance in itself is a brilliant concept, it brings peace where it wouldn’t usually be. And essentially, those Springsteen songs which reminisce about past relationships with clarity are examples of acceptance. Sure there may involve lyrics which question the possibility of the “what if” scenario, but to have reached acceptance on any level is a huge achievement.
With acceptance, you are able to look back with a new perspective and (hopefully) see what your ex-significant other has taught you. Now I can see that my first love/r has taught me to take a new outlook on things and even people, and that everything may not be as it is from the outside looking in. She had faith in me as a writer, which I will stay with me for quite some time and I will thank her endlessly for.
For now though, my plants will gain my undivided love and attention. But, maybe someday…
-S.S.D.
*Generally without wanting to kick yourself over past wrong decisions.

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3 comments

  1. You should tune in to Hack at 5.30pm on Triple J (10.77 QLD frequency)

    They’re discussing love and chemistry. It’s really interesting. check out Triple J’s website http://abc.net.au/triplej and look at the hack section for more info 🙂 I think you’d definitely be interested.

    Great post. Cheers ^_^

  2. Pingback: Top 5 | Year-End Round-Up For 2011 « Stylists Life


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